I Wasn't Being Sarcastic

Oh, eventfulness, eventfulness.
I guess it took something that should bring me down to actually set me free.
I should be hurt, broken, depressed.
I should feel betrayed, used.
But I'm happy.
I feel fresh.
Out of a rut.

Thanks for making me hate you.
Honestly, thank you.
That's just what it took for me to see clearly.
Now I know who you are.
Now I know I don't want anything to do with you.

And now I have more room for him.
I love you, Tyler.
And now I know that I can be happy with him.
We will be happy.
I don't need you like I thought I did.

I feel great.
Even though I have a low fever.
Emotionally, I feel good.
Not so much physically.

I need to stop missing school.
Last year, I missed a third of my classes.
I still managed to make honor roll.
But that's irrelevant.
I'm slipping away.
I'm weak, I'm dizzy.
I can't handle it.
I missed all last week.
I missed the whole week two weeks before.
I'm getting nowhere.

Rhymes With Toga

Weird thing happend today.
I went to a YOGA class.
I thought I hated yoga.
But I guess I don't.
Maybe I should try new things more often.
I'm still sick.
And the yoga was surprisingly relaxing.

So my boyfriend, Tyler.
He drove his parents car.
And, guess what?
Yeah, he kinda smashed it.
So it sucks for him 'cause he has to pay like $1,300.
And it sucks for me 'cause his parents won't let him see me for the rest of the week. -_-
He's seventeen.
I don't think they should be allowed to make rules like that.
His mom's crazy.
But that's a long story.
Anyways, when he told me he couldn't see me I freaked out.
Like usual.
I hate myseft for it.
I told myself I would stop.
I told myself "I just won't care anymore".
And I was going to go through with it.
But then I told him that and he got really upset.
Keep in mind, everything I say is an understatement.
I guess "not caring" isn't an option.
It probably wouldn't have worker for long anyways.
So here I am.
Being psycho-depressive girlfriend.
Putting him through hell.
Why he's still with me, I do not know.
I mean, I know he loves me.
I guess that's why.
But he deserves some sort of reward for putting up with me for so long.
It's been almost ten months.
Wow.
And we have forever to go.
I hope he can survive it.
Anyways, eventually I calmed down about the not seeing him thing.
I think it was after the yoga class.



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I'm gonna make it a point to try and write everyday.